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Chilis Ultimate Stacked Review

By Chris Cognac

Burger: Ultimate Stacked Burger

Meat: Beef 6 oz x2

Location: Chili’s

Price: $9.99

Category: National-International Chain

Scores: Patty 16 pts, Bun 14 pts, Toppings (Bacon, American Cheese, Shoe string onion, Tomato, Lettuce, Pickle) 9 pts, Presentation 16 pts, Creativity 1 pt, Taste 19 pts, Value 3 pts.

Total Score 80 out of 100

What we liked about the burger: Big Meaty Patties

What we didn’t like about the burger: Bun was just “So So” and a bit crisp

Does it look like the picture: Yes, pretty much..

The Review: It’s the “flagship burger” at the moment for Chili’s which has always seamed to lack food cred amongst foodies. Chili’s must be trying because this burger os s huge improvements over prior burgers at Chilis. The patties are thick and meaty and actually look to be hand formed which is a sign of a great burger. I was pretty impressed when the burger got to my table, it was huge, and it as actually “more than a mouthful”. It was not full of grease as some burgers of that size can be, but my “medium rare” came out medium well”…I think the burger works and chilis can be proud of the fine burger product it has put out.

Final Thoughts: The ulitimate staked burger from Chili’s is a nice break away from the corporate crap you tend to get at Chilis . The Chefs have put out a tasty and filling burger at a very affordable price. Review

By Chris Cognac

The Cobb from Ruby's

Burger: The Cobb Burger

Meat: Beef 5.5 oz x1

Location: Ruby’s

Price: $9.99

Category: National Chain

Scores: Patty 12 pts, Bun (White) 10 pts, Toppings (Mozzarella Cheese, Bacon, Avocado, Lettuce) 10 pts, Presentation 12 pts, Creativity 1 pts, Taste 17 pts, Value 1 pts

Total Score 63 out of 100

What we liked about the burger: It looked nice

What we didn’t like about the burger: The cheese just didn’t work with the burger

The Review: Ruby’s is a national chain with about 30 locations across the U.S. but mostly in California. Ruby’s has the whole “50’s” theme going which is so popular with burger chains for some reason, (not that I mind). I guess that Ruby’s is trying to bring back a simpler time when the “malt shop” was the hang out…except that now the malt shop burger costs almost 10 bucks!

The Cobb Burger is made up of 1 5.5 oz or (1/3 lb) beef patty. The burger is supposed to be made of “Kobe” beef, which I am sure it not since actual Kobe beef is expensive as hell and has to be imported from Japan. I am sure they mean “Wagyu” or Kobe style beef raised here in the U.S.  The Cobb Burger is Ruby’s take on a Cobb Salad, only it’s a Burger. Cobb Salad is tasty, invented right here in Hollywood at the Brown Derby if I am not mistaken. Back to the Burger, it came to the table and I was pleased, it looked nice, not to greasy and not too big. I bit into the fluffy white bun and through the dense patty into pungent mozzarella cheese and avocado. The thick sliced bacon was the savior in this Burger or all would have been lost. The meat was “average” and defiantly not “Kobe”. It just didn’t work well, the “smooshy” texture of the thick cold slab of cheese and then the avocado didn’t help. It felt very “corporate” which it really is, no imagination and no “love” in the kitchen. The Cobb Burger was average at best, not worth the $9.99 I paid for it.

Will I be eating at Ruby’s again? Of course, they make some pretty good burgers, just not this one. Is it worth trying, even if you like mozzarella cheese…hey its your $9.99, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Bacon Double Cheddar from Johnny Rockets


By Chris Cognac

Burger: Johnny Rockets Bacon Cheddar Double

Meat: Beef 5.5 oz x2

Location: Johnny Rockets

Price: $9.99

Category: National-International Chain

Scores: Patty 16 pts, Bun (Wheat) 12 pts, Toppings (Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Onion, Tomato, Lettuce) 10 pts, Presentation 13 pts, Creativity 2 pt, Taste 18 pts, Value 3 pts.

Total Score 74 out of 100

What we liked about the burger: Big Meaty Patties

What we didn’t like about the burger: Cheese, combined with fat was a bit greasy even for us at

Does it look like the picture: Yes, pretty much..

The Review: Johnny Rockets is a famous “50’s style” Diner and Burger joint with locations across the globe. They specialize in burgers, with a bit of flair but nothing too exotic. You are not going to see ostrich burgers on the menu anytime soon at Johnny Rockets. The Bacon Cheddar Double is pretty basic and safe as far as burgers go, its pretty much meat, cheese and a nice crisp white onion slice. Johnny Rockets has gotten it right for the most part with the Bacon Cheddar Double as the burger highlights the tasty 5.5 oz beef patties. The beef patties are flavorful and not too compact, cooked on a flat griddle with some crispiness to the outside of the meat. The density of the meat and lack of “machine style compaction” allows for the juices to come through the meat and soak into the stable, well grilled wheat bun (there is a choice of buns).The bun held up well and added to the overall enjoyment of the burger, but eventually gave way to the onslaught of flavor when combined with more than ample “cheddar cheese” runoff. The small slice of white onion was crisp and added much to the overall burger experience, much like the thick, crisp smokey bacon (nothing ruins a burger like limp, nasty bacon). I was a bit disappointed in the measly limp single lettuce leaf, which really would have added a few points to the overall review had it been fresh and crisp. The price of $9.99 was a bit hefty but the burger did have 11 oz of meat and good quality bacon.

Final Thoughts: The Johnny Rockets Bacon Cheddar Double is a manly man burger, with lots of meat and cheese, it’s a basic burger for basic burger lovers,…with a bit of bacon thrown in for good measure, you can do a lot worse than this burger, that’s for sure!

By Chris Cognac

Crazy Stack BurgerBurger: Crazy Stack: One pound of burger between THREE grill cheese sandwiches (instead of bun) plus American cheese, Mac n Cheese, avocado and mayo.
Location: Hamburger Mary’s
Meat: Beef 8 oz x2
Price: $19.99
Category: National Chain

Patty 18 pts
Bun (Grilled Cheese Sandwiches) 13 pts
Toppings (Mac and Cheese, Bacon, Avocado, American Cheese) 12 pts
Presentation 14 pts
Creativity 4 pts
Taste 22 pts
Value 3 pts

Total Score 86 out of 100

What we liked about the burger: Creative as hell and “Fabu-lishious”, cheesy heart stopping goodness.

What we didn’t like about the burger: The pain my upper aorta that came after eating it.
First Impression: Holy Sh*t, how the hell am I going to eat that!

The Review: Hamburger Mary’s is a small chain of with about 10 locations across the U.S. and is “unique” to say the least, from the “Drag Queen” nights to the fact that the restroom has a disco ball and a loop of Abba’s “Dancing Queen” playing oh and did I mention that this location is in West Hollywood California. While Hamburger Mary’s or “Burger Queen” as its also known, is as fabulous as it gets as far as music, décor and the like, its still about burgers. The latest creation is known as the “Crazy Stack”, and in my opinion it should be called the “ Cardiologists dream” for that is truly what this burger is.

The Crazy Stack is made up of 2 “8 oz” Beef patties that are cooked to perfection, loosely hand formed so the texture is just right when you bite into it. It’s topped with Avocado, Bacon, American cheese, Macaroni and Cheese (which is quite good on its own). Instead of buns, the Crazy Stack is served using 3….yes 3 grilled cheese sandwiches as buns (top bottom and middle, “big mac” style), and the grilled cheese sandwiches are made on tasty “Hawaiian” sweet bread”.

The Crazy Stack is at least 6 inches thick and is a “commitment” burger meaning once you pick it up and start to eat, you cant let go as it will self destruct! I was impressed with the creativity of this burger, using the grilled cheese sandwiches, as bun’s is downright brilliant! The Bacon and Avocado are a bit overshadowed in the Crazy Stack. Cheese and Meat are the star and if you are a fan of cheese, this is the burger for you…Carl’s Jr (Hardees in parts of US) has a grilled cheeseburger the Crazy Stack at Hamburger Mary’s makes the Carl’s Jr burger look like a cheap 2 dollar whore at the end of a long night on the Sunset strip. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack right there in the restaurant and only ate 1/3 of it, but it was worth it. The Crazy Stack at Hamburger Mary’s is a “must try” for Frat Boys and Foodies alike, so try it at least once in your life, and besides, you wont have to eat for 3 days afterwards.

Date: 4/19/10

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